LOS ANGELES, CA – In yet another chapter of Kanye West’s unpredictable financial ventures, the artist-turned-mogul launched his own cryptocurrency, YeCoin, promising that it was “God’s chosen coin” and “100% unruggable.” Unfortunately for investors, the project rugged immediately, with Kanye’s dark web handlers allegedly siphoning off $400 million in mere seconds.
During a highly anticipated livestream, Kanye paced back and forth in an all-white room, wearing his signature sock shoes, as he delivered a sermon about YeCoin’s divine purpose. “This is not just a coin, this is a revolution,” he declared. “This is bigger than Bitcoin, bigger than gold. This is biblical.”
However, while fans were still processing the gospel of decentralized wealth, blockchain analysts noticed that the YeCoin liquidity pool had been emptied, leaving investors with nothing but NFTs of Kanye’s old tweets. As the rug pulled, Kanye’s X account—allegedly bought by a dark web syndicate for $17 million—posted one final message: “My work here is done. Buy the dip.”
Cryptocurrency influencers scrambled to react. One well-known trader, @MoonJesus, attempted to reassure his followers: “The fundamentals are still strong. This is just a healthy retracement.” Meanwhile, another user, @DiamondHands420, tweeted: “If you sell, you’re part of the problem. HODL for Ye.”
Authorities are now investigating the situation, though given Kanye’s history, legal experts believe this may just be considered “another Tuesday in crypto.”
In an ironic twist, despite the rug pull, YeCoin’s price briefly surged 900% after Elon Musk tweeted, “Might accept this for Teslas. Maybe.”
At press time, Kanye was reportedly preparing a follow-up project: DondaDAO, a decentralized autonomous organization where holders can vote on his next album cover—except Kanye still gets the final say.
