In a move that could only be described as the cinematic equivalent of sending a robot to do a human’s job, Netflix has officially embraced generative AI for the first time in its new show, “The Eternaut.” The series follows the riveting tale of Argentine citizens battling the aftermath of toxic snowfall that kills millions — a plot twist that seems almost fittingly ironic when you consider the number of scripts being choked by the icy grip of algorithmic creativity.
Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos declared AI to be “an incredible opportunity to make films and series better, not just cheaper,” which we can only assume translates to feeling more comfortable kicking artists to the curb while they collect savings like a financially astute raccoon hoarding trash for the apocalypse. Sources report that Sarandos relished in the fact that AI could whip up a virtual building collapse 10 times faster than traditional VFX artists could say “We just need more funding!”
“In fact, the results had us all thrilled!” Sarandos gushed, in an announcement reminiscent of a mid-level manager describing a particularly exciting coffee break. Apparently, the creators of “The Eternaut” were so enamored by the AI’s instant gratification that they’re now writing a screenplay titled, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Human!”
In true Netflix fashion, the algorithmic future didn’t stop at VFX. The streaming giant is testing a new tool that may allow viewers to use their voices to request recommendations. Imagine this: “I want a comedy about a confused penguin sorting existential crises while solving a murder!” Somewhere, an AI chuckled and promptly delivered the viewer a dozen episodes of “The Office” instead. Because, let’s face it, Netflix is basically a predictive text service at this point, throwing darts at genre labels without breaking a sweat.
Concerns are understandably swirling through Hollywood like a herd of bewildered antelope. A report from CVL Economics warns that generative AI could decimate 204,000 film and TV jobs by 2027 — affecting mostly entry-level roles where genomic vigilance may not save your bacon. But fear not, aspiring artists! This simply means there’s more room for creative input from your friendly neighborhood robot overlords! It’s like a cult, but instead of chanting in unison, you’ll be replaced by an enchanted algorithm that prefers to write about ungrateful squirrels living in your backyard.
So what’s the solution to this artistic crisis? How about we start a GoFundMe for every Netflix series alongside a monthly subscription fee for our emotional support AI? If we can’t have human creativity, we might as well fill our screens with data-driven ennui curated by overly caffeinated code. You can kickstart the AI apocalypse right at your living room couch!
Disclaimer: Whale Tales is not responsible for any existential crises experienced while binge-watching AI-generated romcoms or if your couch suddenly starts giving life advice about quit your day job. Please consult a human writer for therapy, preferably one who hasn’t been replaced by an algorithm.
