In a move that has left economists, automobile industry experts, and casual observers completely baffled, Elon Musk Grok 3 announced that Tesla will now be accepting $GrokCoin as payment for its vehicles. With one condition—purchasers must first solve an AI-generated puzzle by Grok 3 before their order is processed.
The Future of Payments or Just Another Wednesday for Musk?
Elon Musk, addressing a Tesla press conference in hologram form (although he was present in the same room), explained the rationale behind the decision.
“For the memes,” says Musk, as buyers struggle to solve AI-generated dad jokes for payment.
Look, anyone can buy a car with stodgy old fiat currency. That’s not exciting. That’s 20th-century thinking. But if you want to buy a Tesla in 2025, you’ll have to prove you have the intellectual chops of at least a third-tier Redditor. And what’s the best way to prove that? With riddles designed by Grok 3, the world’s first AI specifically designed to outsmart humans?
When prodded for more details, Musk grinned. “It’s for the memes.”
The Riddle-Based Checkout System
Tesla buyers in the future will now also need to pay in GrokCoin, a volatile cryptocurrency that was worth a cent yesterday but is somehow inexplicably trading for the GDP of Belgium today. After selecting their Tesla model, the car’s AI system will generate a riddle that must be solved before the payment will be accepted.
Sample riddles include:
- “I am electric, but not alive. I can drive, but I have no eyes. What am I?”
- “The more you charge me, the less you worry. But charge me too much, and I’ll burn your garage down. What am I?”
- “Why did the crypto trader sit in his Tesla? Because he wanted to HODL… but what is ‘HODL’?”
If the customers fail to answer correctly in three attempts, their GrokCoin is permanently stuck in the Tesla vault, what Musk describes as “the ultimate proof of diamond hands.”
AI-Generated Humor Confuses Buyers
The AI-generated riddles are proving challenging, in part because Elon Musk Grok 3 sense of humor is based on Musk’s own Twitter feed. Buyers attempting to purchase a Tesla Model Y reported being stumped by such jokes as:
- “Why did the Dogecoin go to the moon? Because it was tired of your bear market negativity.”
- “If a Tesla accelerates at 60mph in 3 seconds, but no one tweets about it, did it even drive?”
One customer, Bryan Cartwright, a former hedge fund analyst turned dogecoin trader, was seen muttering to himself in a Tesla dealership after he failed to solve a riddle correctly. “I thought I was good at lateral thinking,” he said, staring vacantly at the Dogecoin chart on his phone. “But this? This is impossible.”
Another prospective buyer, Sophia Chen, studied differently: “I’ve been practicing on Musk’s tweets for six months. I should be good to go.” She was last seen fighting with the Tesla AI, which insisted that the correct response to “How do you properly secure your crypto?” was “Tweet your seed phrase for maximum decentralization.”
Financial Analysts Are, Once Again, Confused
Financial experts could not comment on whether this move is aimed at transforming the auto industry or whether Musk is simply joking around. “This is a whole new category of finance that we just… don’t have words for,” said financial analyst Greg Thompson. “It’s not fiat, it’s not crypto, it’s… joke-based monetary policy?”
Some insiders believe this is just phase one of Musk’s master plan to build a world where all major transactions are resolved using GrokCoin, dad jokes, and possibly flamethrowers.
The Internet Reacts
As expected, Twitter (or as Musk now likes to call it, ‘X’) went off:
- “Finally, an economic system that rewards my extensive meme knowledge.” – @CryptoBro420
- “Tesla: the only dealership where your IQ matters more than your credit score.” – @WokeInvestor
- “Just sold my house to buy more GrokCoin. Now I’m living in my Model S. Worth it.” – @DiamondHands69
What’s Next?
Musk has implied that one day, Tesla owners will be mining GrokCoin simply by driving their cars. “For every mile you drive, your Tesla will generate a small amount of GrokCoin,” he stated. “It’s similar to Bitcoin mining, but without the enormous power consumption. Instead, we simply harvest the kinetic energy of your panic braking when you find out the Autopilot beta still thinks stop signs are ‘optional.’
In the meantime, dealerships across the country are scrambling to hire professional riddlers to assist confused customers.
And Musk? He ended the press conference with a mysterious utterance: “This is just the beginning. Soon, even Twitter will be purchasable with GrokCoin. Oh wait, I already own that. Never mind.”
