Web3 Dating App Promises to Match Users Based on NFT Holdings, but Everyone Swipes Left
In a bold, if somewhat bewildering, attempt to merge love and ledger technology, a new Web3 dating app called MetaMatch has promised to revolutionize romance by matching users based on their NFT portfolios. Early reports, however, suggest that instead of sparking romance, the app has created a digital ghost town where every user is perpetually left-swiped.
MetaMatch launched under the slogan “Find Love on the Blockchain,” claiming to match users based on the rarity and value of their NFT collections. According to its whitepaper-most curiously, 57 pages long and without explaining anything-the users with the blue-chip NFTs, such as Bored Apes or CryptoPunks, would be granted ‘premium matchmaking status,’ while those with their lesser-known meme coins and pixelated frogs fall into some kind of algorithmic abyss.
Then came the crypto bros and NFT enthusiasts, hunting for their blockchain soulmates. “Finally, a dating app where I don’t need to explain what’s an NFT!” tweeted @HODLHeart69, a self-described ‘digital romantic’ who says he lost a girlfriend in 2021 over the fact that he spent their anniversary minting JPEGs.
But then, as users eagerly set up their profiles, they noticed a problem: nobody was getting any matches. The swipe-left rate on MetaMatch was reportedly so high that some began to suspect the blockchain itself was rejecting their love lives.
“I thought three Mutant Apes and a fractionalized piece of a CryptoPunk made me irresitable,” laments @NFT_Cupid, who in a few weeks online, hasn’t secured one like. “Turns out women on here don’t find ‘owns 500 penguin NFTs’ as attractive as I thought.”
The app’s creators, however, insist that this is simply a feature of Web3’s decentralized nature. “We believe love should be trustless,” said CEO and founder Brett ‘ChainBeard’ Nakamoto in a press release. “That’s why we’ve eliminated superficial qualities like personality, humor, and physical attraction, and replaced them with immutable smart contracts based entirely on JPEG ownership.”
Even NFT influencers who had been hyping the platform started to raise doubts. “I connected my wallet, but all I got was an error message saying my LoveCoin balance was too low,” tweeted @MoonBae, a prominent crypto evangelist. Meanwhile, crypto YouTubers were churning out urgent videos with titles like “MetaMatch is a Rug Pull? SHOCKING TRUTH REVEALED!!”
Adding to the chaos, scammers quickly flooded the app with innumerable fake profiles featuring AI-generated influencers holding BAYC avatars. “I matched with a person who claimed to be an NFT whale,” one user said, “but then they asked me to send ETH to a suspicious-looking address before they’d go on a date. Classic Web3 romance.
Some of the users did propose a hard fork of MetaMatch, named “RealPersonDating,” where the profile pictures were to include an actual human face. That, however, was immediately voted down as “too Web2,” and the concept was ridiculed in crypto Telegram groups.
Undeterred, the app’s developers remain optimistic about its future. “We’re still in beta,” Nakamoto reassured investors. “For now, it’s just a UI problem. The moment we drop MetaMatch 2.0, integrate AI girlfriends, and introduce staking rewards for staying single, things will get huge.
Until then, its lonely user base is stuck in an endless loop of left swipes-a new reminder that no amount of blockchain innovation can solve the age-old mystery of human attraction.
As one frustrated user succinctly summarized, “I was hoping to find a soulmate… but all I got was gas fees.”.
